Building A Life In Montevideo

This weekend an old repair on one of my teeth gave up the ghost, and the resolution to the situation was anticlimatic. While the price of many things here mimics that back home: food, rents, local opportunists playing at business, etc… it turns out actual professional services don't sting the same way. For less than a whole benjie composite resins were artfully applied and cured, a procedure my brother confirmed would have run around two benjies back in old country. I regret the professional was not inclined to take photos while juggling the resin and the very blue curing light.

This happened after the morning where the Republic's star lighter was moved to throw away a perfectly good rant because the new management managed to put together a castle for their discussions. Last week's dread has been replaced by tempered optimism. Somehow, in spite of myself, shit seems to be working out now that I have stepped back and let others step forward. Pete's ill timed post mortem, already late the morning he published it, was still further off the mark mere hours later. Shit could still go South1, but in much the same way building an ISP has a recipe, doing business in a Republican manner has examples to follow as well as guidance.

I went South looking for opportunity. I learned that on my own, I am insufficient to captialize on the opportunity. Through honesty and good faith, I survived. Other investors found the mess I made interesting enough to bring management to it and… HOLY SHIT I'M A GRINGO WILDCATTER! Just like that. Mircea stepped back, and enough Republicans came together in time to make something that can work. Still, I have to work a spiritual program one day at a time and keep my ego in check, because the only reason this is happening is I got out of the way.

Colonize or be colonized was an open question when I got here. With my fall and the emerging landing, I can't see value in any course other than embracing the Gringo identity. Not estadounidense, but Gringo. Foreign, from the North,2 and with alien species of machismo.

There is some machismo here, the locals insist. And yet when I explain what a rollor coaster my business activites in Uruguay have been to the girls at the CoWork, they seem to interpret the theme of my narrative as "Balls, big ones". Not the kind of machismo that leaves old men with permanent stankface or the kind that leaves the local boys dressing like Urban estadounidense thugs while politely allowing the gingo passage.

The local tendancy to be in the way, literally and metaphorically, has to be my reminder to remember my place. Seriously the locals walk through doorways and just fucking stop to look around dazed while occupying the most incovenient location possible. In spite of the nation's economy depending entirely on the good will of Brasileros who enjoy beaches, cannabis, and the safety that comes from being in Uruguay rather than Brasil. Yet with the encouragement of the local pantsuit press (archived), the big attraction that grew tourism and foreign income to the country gets squeezed by the injection of socialism and police seizures of pantsuit unblessed product in a market small enough that a seized car trunk can make a difference.

They buy into and they cargo cult the pantsuit Hegelian cycle. Contrary to Pete's assertion however these are far from the dumbest orcs imaginable. This isn't either of the other, more problematic southern continents. Pantsuit hands them just enough of a recipe through Hollywood and then the locals execute it misguidely for the purpose of becoming more Hollywood themselves.

For quite some time I have been heralding the Republic's arrival online in Qntra. Now that Republicans are moving in the world to secure online, I look forward to getting to continue playing the herald of the Republic's arrival.


  1. Or in my case North…  

  2. The Brasileros tend to have a looser definition of Gringo that encompasses even the Uruguayos, which we will discard for being worthless. The Northerness aspect hit a fellow from New Zealand particularly hard when in spite of his pale skin, light hair and eyes, and height… The Chileñas denied him the Gringo title.  

Turning 32 In Montevideo

After a roller coaster last few weeks where I have learned a lot about myself and the world, this week has been a great chance to practice "One Day at a Time" while a new management arrangement is working out how to take on the ashes of a venture I was insufficient to birth. At the start of the week I had come to accept my impending voyage home. I just was dreading the act of flying back. My first experience with plane travel was the marathon trip to Uruguay and as homesick as I was to return to human AA meetings and hardware store lyfe… That's a hell of a long way home.

Through late Tuesday there was no noise coming out of the Republic on the ISP question. Reading back, there were a lot of gems that could have been of great value sent back in a time machine capsule to November. When Mircea published his experimental results, being the ruminating thinker that I am no small part of me wondered how much time this experiment had been extended by getting a favorable response to the January statement after finally cracking that Dosiedoes ought to be accounted as tangibles rather than cash.

Sometime after the results were published… mod6 et al began to talk me into staying in Montevideo. Parties to the discussion I assume all have logs and their terminal, and corporate communication is a management decision I defer to them. Males are the shy gender and there was a lot of emotion and plopping hairy balls menacingly on the table.

The flow of the conversation was thusly:

  • They had been doing math and were interested in a bailout. I pointedly was not interested in a bailout, but a takeover. In light of my recent lessons on my self management ineffectiveness I had to insist that Mircea's exit offer to go home was actually a kindness.
  • They came around on the idea of a take over.
  • From there followed the matter of how to ensure BingoBoingo as a hired hand is left no worse than he was when management decided to adopt him.
  • The fellowship aspiring to management was put through a necessarily lighter1 version of the inevitable questions which would emerge with their proposal.
  • Focus thus far was on how to keep the thing warm before it expires. The fellowship bought a month of myself and a month of datacenter.

As this was going on, developments in meatspace moved in an encouraging direction as well. It turns out I do actually have friends among the live intellects here. When I felt sure I was on my way out of Montevideo I let the ones, who I felt deserved the notice know. And it turns out that in times of stress this filters out friends from among the friendly people.

Which brings us to the Birthday. I was surprised with an alfajor a candle, and had the opportunity to discuss the shortcomings of the Uruguayos with a fellow refugee from socialism in our respective old countries.

Saturday afternoon an old repair to one of my teeth broke, that same evening arragements were made to repair it.

Things are still one day at a time. I still live in a hostel, and it is increasingly comfortable. Shit isn't so bad when I get out of my own way.


  1. Because I am only me. Just because I recently encounter the blades and survived doesn't mean I have come close to mastery. Humility yes, mastery no.  

A Summary Of BBisp Activity

Things Accomplished:

  • A Rack Was Leased: Contract and Math on the endeavor that produces a weekly price of 33.15 Universal Standard Dosiedoes per week for one rack unit.
  • The local poverty in terms of money and hardware were probed and discovered to be profound.
  • A 48 port Gigabit Ethernet switch was installed in the Cabinet along with a 1U low power Qntra Server
  • It was discovered BingoBoingo is incapable of delivering the self direction necessary to carry this endevor on his own. The willingness and ability for someone to fill this gap is a hard problem.

Challenges:

  • Of the original capital 900 Dosiedoes were spent with an accountant that delivered to BingoBoingo a unipersonal enterprise and no bank account, and no timeline for acquiring a bank account. This makes BTC/fiat conversions a time consuming exercise in masochism. A non-US corporation or non-US passport holder could cut through this pile of wank.
  • Guidance on import customs and fees is opaque. Locals with knowledge and experience potentially useful in sorting through this are thoroughly enmeshed in the local holiday culture. on days like today1, December and the first half of January2, and weird shit like Nostalgia day in August
  • Uncertainty BingoBoingo sufficiently put the screws to the locals to get results off the printed menu. This hazard presents itself prominently with the IPv4 address situation.
  • BingoBoingo indeed got drunk. Because of this, the humorless locals, and cargo cult AA down here I would like an concrete exit plan. A bailout or series of bailouts contingent on BingoBoingo stays in Montevideo indefinitely and hopefully terraforms the place into civilization while surviving on the friendship of one Venezolana and conversation with whoever passes through the hostel over the winter does not present a risk profile at this time which substantially interests me.
  • A clean, clear takeover where BingoBoingo can handover operations and leave on a note of "well meaning but ineffectual, though he did successfully turn over the keys to what was left" after 1, 3, 6, or 12 months is interesting. Being conscripted to act as a principal in a venture I am well out of my depth and ability to manage frankly sounds like hell, especially when Mircea Popescu had the kindness to offer a plane ticket and a hard lesson.

Questions are welcome and necessary.


  1. Carnival 

  2. Navidad, New Years, and the local mandate that fiat employee vacation days be contiguous  

Twelve Runs Of speedtest-cli From The Qntra Server

negrodamus:~# speedtest-cli
Retrieving speedtest.net configuration…
Testing from Paswer International S.A. (161.0.121.253)…
Retrieving speedtest.net server list…
Selecting best server based on ping…
Hosted by Silica Networks (Caba) [204.00 km]: 40.306 ms
Testing download speed……………………………………………………………………..
Download: 18.80 Mbit/s
Testing upload speed……………………………………………………………………………………
Upload: 185.52 Mbit/s
negrodamus:~# speedtest-cli
Retrieving speedtest.net configuration…
Testing from Paswer International S.A. (161.0.121.253)…
Retrieving speedtest.net server list…
Selecting best server based on ping…
Hosted by Claro Uruguay (Montevideo) [1.03 km]: 42.552 ms
Testing download speed……………………………………………………………………..
Download: 17.38 Mbit/s
Testing upload speed……………………………………………………………………………………
Upload: 183.57 Mbit/s
negrodamus:~# speedtest-cli
Retrieving speedtest.net configuration…
Testing from Paswer International S.A. (161.0.121.253)…
Retrieving speedtest.net server list…
Selecting best server based on ping…
Hosted by Silica Networks (Caba) [204.00 km]: 39.517 ms
Testing download speed……………………………………………………………………..
Download: 18.82 Mbit/s
Testing upload speed……………………………………………………………………………………
Upload: 164.90 Mbit/s
negrodamus:~# speedtest-cli
Retrieving speedtest.net configuration…
Testing from Paswer International S.A. (161.0.121.253)…
Retrieving speedtest.net server list…
Selecting best server based on ping…
Hosted by Telecom Personal (La Plata) [162.75 km]: 38.934 ms
Testing download speed……………………………………………………………………..
Download: 18.82 Mbit/s
Testing upload speed……………………………………………………………………………………
Upload: 180.61 Mbit/s
negrodamus:~# speedtest-cli
Retrieving speedtest.net configuration…
Testing from Paswer International S.A. (161.0.121.253)…
Retrieving speedtest.net server list…
Selecting best server based on ping…
Hosted by Claro Uruguay (Montevideo) [1.03 km]: 37.671 ms
Testing download speed……………………………………………………………………..
Download: 17.75 Mbit/s
Testing upload speed……………………………………………………………………………………
Upload: 191.73 Mbit/s
negrodamus:~# speedtest-cli
Retrieving speedtest.net configuration…
Testing from Paswer International S.A. (161.0.121.253)…
Retrieving speedtest.net server list…
Selecting best server based on ping…
Hosted by Telecom Personal (La Plata) [162.75 km]: 37.109 ms
Testing download speed……………………………………………………………………..
Download: 18.57 Mbit/s
Testing upload speed……………………………………………………………………………………
Upload: 175.01 Mbit/s
negrodamus:~# speedtest-cli
Retrieving speedtest.net configuration…
Testing from Paswer International S.A. (161.0.121.253)…
Retrieving speedtest.net server list…
Selecting best server based on ping…
Hosted by Claro Uruguay (Montevideo) [1.03 km]: 39.807 ms
Testing download speed……………………………………………………………………..
Download: 18.48 Mbit/s
Testing upload speed……………………………………………………………………………………
Upload: 190.79 Mbit/s
negrodamus:~# speedtest-cli
Retrieving speedtest.net configuration…
Testing from Paswer International S.A. (161.0.121.253)…
Retrieving speedtest.net server list…
Selecting best server based on ping…
Hosted by Silica Networks (Caba) [204.00 km]: 37.164 ms
Testing download speed……………………………………………………………………..
Download: 18.84 Mbit/s
Testing upload speed……………………………………………………………………………………
Upload: 185.66 Mbit/s
negrodamus:~# speedtest-cli
Retrieving speedtest.net configuration…
Testing from Paswer International S.A. (161.0.121.253)…
Retrieving speedtest.net server list…
Selecting best server based on ping…
Hosted by Telecom Personal (La Plata) [162.75 km]: 41.466 ms
Testing download speed……………………………………………………………………..
Download: 18.66 Mbit/s
Testing upload speed……………………………………………………………………………………
Upload: 186.67 Mbit/s
negrodamus:~# speedtest-cli
Retrieving speedtest.net configuration…
Testing from Paswer International S.A. (161.0.121.253)…
Retrieving speedtest.net server list…
Selecting best server based on ping…
Hosted by Telecom Personal (La Plata) [162.75 km]: 38.743 ms
Testing download speed……………………………………………………………………..
Download: 18.84 Mbit/s
Testing upload speed……………………………………………………………………………………
Upload: 189.65 Mbit/s
negrodamus:~# speedtest-cli
Retrieving speedtest.net configuration…
Testing from Paswer International S.A. (161.0.121.253)…
Retrieving speedtest.net server list…
Selecting best server based on ping…
Hosted by Silica Networks (Caba) [204.00 km]: 39.007 ms
Testing download speed……………………………………………………………………..
Download: 18.82 Mbit/s
Testing upload speed……………………………………………………………………………………
Upload: 182.84 Mbit/s
negrodamus:~# speedtest-cli
Retrieving speedtest.net configuration…
Testing from Paswer International S.A. (161.0.121.253)…
Retrieving speedtest.net server list…
Selecting best server based on ping…
Hosted by Telecom Personal (La Plata) [162.75 km]: 39.489 ms
Testing download speed……………………………………………………………………..
Download: 18.76 Mbit/s
Testing upload speed……………………………………………………………………………………
Upload: 189.57 Mbit/s

The Story Of A Storefront

When I arrived in Montevideo this was a seasonal pop up retailer selling trinkets and decorations Navidad. It is located immediately across from Montevideo Shopping and the World Trade Center auditorium.

On December 23rd a small printed sign appeared on the door directing visitors to their location in the Centro neighborhood. The premises were empty and windows uncovered.

From then until last week the building sat. Door occassionally open for squatter to shit there before sleeping on the sidewalk outside.

Eventually a small group came and cleaned out the building, again. This time when they finished they had it signed and advertising to new renters. Meanwhile well over a month was spent where the premises were doing the opposite of advertising their desirability.

Candome: A Venture Into AfroUruguayan Culture

First contender on the night is "Organizaciones Mondo Afro" a school of Candombe.

At every intersection are a bunch of these fellows.

There are flag people

The flag people are followed by dance people

And more dance people

And old people

Then finally drum people

Ballroom dance people

And finally Activist people.

This is one unit of Candombe. It is a complete parade in itself and took ~45 minutes to pass by, indiviadual Candombe troops/schools do this every week in their own neighborhoods. But this is the Carnaval Desfile de Llamadas. Overall a better experience than the Desfile Inaugural de Carnaval, and thus I left before the other 19 Candombe schools could have the opportunity to change my mind.

The Photos From Places Between The Places

The famous statue rusty squares and very flat bronze dogs.

Flat dog 1

Flat dog 2

Statue of Fructosa Rivera in front of the Shopping Entrance to Tres Cruces Shopping and bus terminal. The local lore and official repitions thereof suggest he lead the successful and complete genocide of the native Charrúa early in his tenure as first president of Uruguay. A look a many of the poor girls who come from the interior to work in the city strongly suggests that like many things Uruguayan, the completeness of Fructosa's genocide falls far short of the completeness the locals claim.

The parking exit for the National bus terminal at Tres Cruces. Black and yellow is the old taxi color scheme, white and yellow is the new.

Graffiti at a Park in the Tres Cruces neighborhood between where Fast Import was not and where Ok Computers was not. Since the camera was out a fellow strung out on something identified me as a tourist, proceeded to ask if I like cocaine and suggested I wait for his "brother" to meet him. The brother, seeing the hand placement of the tourist that the strung out dork was trying to set up, apologized for his very stupid companion and drug him away before machismo and racismo could happen.

On an electrical service cabinet near where Ok Computers wasn't.

Wank

Immediately across the street fromt he electrical cabinet of whining.

Probably the biggest instance of their National Flag.

Between Game Gear and Banicroft the height of the city for substantially shorter.

And finally

Yes, this is a steel reinforced piece of concrete curb which has been peeled up and left on top of the side walk. How this happened, is a mystery to me.

A Long Descent Into The Cargo Cult

After departing this morning on a mission my failures had made urgent, the first stop was Thot Computacion.

The mission was get out the door by 8:00 and thusly the walk continues. This place gets a return trip.

Hard to tell if this is an eviction, renovation, or ransacking, but this is the only storefront on its block with an open door.

Ah, they moved and left an open door and a telephone number. No, the telephone number was not answered when called. Double checking their website reveals they still advertise La Avenida General Riviera 3387 as their place of business.

Closed as well at this hour. Gets a return visit later.

Closed as well. And that exhausts the contenders on La Avenida General Riviera.

A few meters from the address advertised as "Sampler"  is INTERWEB CYBER-KIOSCO, and no. Their networking setup didn't appear to be more than consumer gear. Of the firms listed they felt NNet was the most promising because "They sell so many different things on Mercado Libre".

Optics are weird.

On the way to the next cluster of stores, there is an Obelisk.

And a church.

And THE Tres Cruces Cruz. There apparently are not and never were. Another warning sign I should have heeded.

Here we have the location where Fast Import claims to do business.

It is now 9:30 and the hereto highly recommended NNet is open.

And so they are. The other customers are picking up their online orders from Mercado Libre. When I present my shopping list to the clerks, they promptly recommend Technolyn S.A. and give directions. The reversed the number of blocks between turns, but anticipating that I got the address and the trip was uneventful. If you need a blender and Kingston SSD in the same trip, NNet probably isn't a bad place to go. Cheaper than Tienda Inglesa.

The interior of Technolyn S.A. is as dark as the exterior suggests. Yes they have 42U racks on display in the window. With the exception of one narrow walkway the floor was stacked with boxes of merchandise. A wide variety of cables, PDU's, and other materials were on display. When the idiot I first talked to said they have 2U rackmount boxes, they lost interest in the conversation because I wanted 12 and they only had 2, I made the decision to check out a couple other stores and return when hopefully someone less retarded was available.

Another Church

The address of Ok Computers. Gate to the door open, but no response at the door to attempts at communication. No signage indicating that this is the location of a store calling itself "Ok Computers", and attempts to contact them online have repeatedly been ignored. I have to assume they aren't in any business at all.

The address listed for Tecno 18. On La Avenida 18 de Julio, which everthing printed about Uruguay proclaims as the principal calle de Montevideo.

The gals at the Pharmacy were very glad to helpfully confirm that Tecno 18 was indeed closed forever and not hiding upstairs.

Girl Power Gas Station. At this point I returned to Technolyn, found someone less retarded. They showed my the one 2U server chassis they had in the store, explained they might have two more in their warehouse but needed to check their condition. I let them photocopy my shopping list, including the other stores I would be visiting and explained I would like a quote for everything this afternoon, because they like apparently everyother self declared place of commerce is closed Lunes y Viernes por Carnaval. When I asked the proprietor if he could suggest other vendors that might have the required form of chassis, he replied "No, in Montevideo that is very hard to find." On the way to the next Tienda it broke out in a downpour, so I hired a car to take me to my desk and put in writing to the one business I found so far with a single 2U chassis, that I would like a quote this afternoon.1

At the start of this exercise I though I had made a grave error in my priorities. At this point in the exercise I realized that I had no idea what grave was when I started walking today. The one store so far that looked like it almost knew what it was doing had a single 2U case and a bunch of whole racks. If this was learned in December we could have started slow boating materials over or pulled out and tried a different Orcistan. In January we could have spread the load between multiple Lords of the Republic.

It is by Mircea Popescu's grace I have the opportunity to be in South America, and the biggest failure here is mine. My choices and decisions has lead to a situation where my Patron wants me to house his hardware, and not only can I not provide the most basic supporting materials this is being discovered at the worst time. Everybit of this failure is mine.

Now let us return to the lesser failures:

I returned to Thot, recieved a simple "No tengo" and no recommendation for other suppliers.

As a revisit the rest of the Avenida General Riviera tiendas, I can't believe I missed this the first time. The escuela de informatica para adultos gave up, quit, and the cursed ground on which they tried is one again for rent.

Techno Paz. The first person I talked to could not stop imagining I wanted a rack, like they had their wifi stuff in, but only 2U in height. The other fellow there promptly shooed her away and had me put on the phone with the owner. No boxes were seen, but he had confidence he could "find some" in Montevideo. This is the exact sort of statement I am developing a strong allergy to.2

Game Gear, the most helpful visit of the trip. The fellow at the desk made it clear what I was looking for there and proceeded to try to help find who might have some. I gave him my lsit of stores without telling him which I had visited, and based on his accurate descriptions of the places I been I had a lot less faith in the places I would be going next. He knew why I wanted rackmount equipment3 and explained that here people tend to do the factory authorized distributor thing for servers, though he has had customers do the tower server thing when all their business needs is a one off. He recommended the already contacted Technolyn who I was awaiting response from, and an outfit called Banifox. He suggested I didn't have to visit all the stores, but I fucked up and now I have a mission. We managed to eliminate The Miami Shop and Newtek Computers via telephone.

If you need to build a desktop computer in Montevideo, you can't find better customer service than Game Gear provides.

Banifox is almost the opposite of Technolyn. It is a big well lit warehouse space. Product is carefully merchandised for maximum gloss. They have one 4U rackable cabinet. As is apparently Uruguayan tradition I missed earlier being blinded by the beef, I sought clarification and one means one item on hand. Not that they stock one sku for the type of item.

At this point it was time to hire a car and skip to the South end of the city and walk back home through the last few candiates.

I was greeted at infoland with "We only work with big businesses." I reply with "I am a big business." There is a bunch of Argentine style back and forth about applying to be a customer. I am dumbfounded until I finally read her business card a few blocks away. "Microsoft Gold Certified Partner"

Wasn't on the list, but confirmed anyways. Art Computer does not sell rackmount boxes.

Compusys spends more merchandising space on dolls with big heads than the rest of their classes of merchandise. Also does not have 2U boxes.

This store does do the hide upstairs thing. After consulting the doorman across the street and being pointed to the right door, I was greeted enthusiastically. As though customers finding World Master is a rare joy. Their enthusiasm deflated completely when my ask was rackmount boxes.

More than the other failures of mine, this one hurts. Living through a dim reflection of my own failure repeatedly today as unwittingly reenacted by the locals was unpleasant. For me I can see where there'd be humor in this exercise if this were December, I had just arrived and this inadequacy in the locals was uncovered then. Instead here I am eating my own dogshit because February is a third of the way done, the rack is sitting empty, and I have most certainly more than disappointed the man who was kind enough to not only give me a chance but bankroll it.

The cargo cult is a thing. That I did not probe to see just how deep it was until now, that failure is all mine.


  1. After sending a reminder just before 17:00 I revieved at 19:07 the following:

    Hi Aaron,

    Please excuse me I didn’t answer you before.

    The only thing I can inform you is that we have only one complete 2U cabinet. The other one is uncomplete.

    For the rest of the items please contact my workmate Pablo who has your list.

    I’m going on holidays for the next two weeks so I won’t be in the office on Wednesday if you come.

    Regards.

    Renata

    With no contact information for Pablo. 

  2. He did finally send an email at 19:18 local time after promising a call:

    Hi Aaron, I may be abble to find for you same 1 U and 2 U cases. But as
    you may know it is Carnaval here and nobody will be working until
    Wednesday.

    So, talk to you then.

     

  3. Airflow, heat control, etc  

BBisp Shopping And Shops List For Exploring

12 x AMD FX-8350 not the sku with the Wraith Cooler

12 x ASRock 970M PRO3

36 SSD Samsung 860 EVO 1 TB MZ-76E1T0B/AM

RAM 64 GB per Machine:

48 x 16 GB DDR3 1866 modules ct16g3r186dm

Heavy Shit

12 x Rosewill RSV-Z2700 2U Server Chassis or similar 2U chassis

12 x SeaSonic SS-400L2U 400W 2U Power Supply. If the RSV-Z2700 or another chassis that eats ATX power supplies can be had, ATX power supplies with 80 mm rear blowing fans will work.

36 x 2.5“- 3.5“ Adapter brackets or 18 brackets that convert one 3.5“bay into two 2.5“bays

12 x Power Cables C13 to C13

12 x Cat 6 network cables

36 x SATA Cables

Shops

Thot Computacion, Av. Gral. Rivera 3530
Cyc Informatica, Av. Gral. Rivera 3387
MercadoLider Importaciones, Av. Gral. Rivera 3250
Sampler, Av.Gral. Rivera 2784
NNet, Eduardo Víctor Haedo 236, Esq. Br. Artigas (Tres Cruces)
and Soriano 1102 Esq. Paraguay (Centro)
Fast Import, Daniel Muñoz 2258
Techno 18, Av. 18 de Julio 2178
OK Computers, Daniel Muñoz 1983
Techno City, La Paz 2285
Game Gear, Miguelete 2317
Miami Shop, Av Gral Rondeau 1512
Newtek Computers, Dr Aquilez Lanza 1308
Infoland, Br.Artigas 564
Compusyst, Juan Benito Blanco 1176
World Master, 26 de Marzo 3439

 

Comments Welcome

A Morning Of Growth And Magic Words

Following the latest incident in which dealing with a matter in which local businesses practices had lead to yet another deluge of adrenaline and dread, I found myself in a position where I had to pass on exactly the urgency I been squeezed into and… unlike the last time where the accountant completely failed… A functional response emerged. Mutual urgency and absolute business necessity managed to break the dance of "usual suppliers" and "this arbitrarily limited set of rituals is what we have done before and we are deathly afraid to deviate from it". A request I had been making for a while in the form of:

Let's get some commodity hardware, I don't particularly care how. Let us make lots of money together.

Which was obstructed by the cargo cult dance of trying to imitate how business is done. Outside of this point the provider had otherwise behaved sanely proving the space, power, and connectivity requested. For some reason "provide exactly the hardware requested" had hit a stumbling block. For some religious reason they had to have a supplier to solicit quotes from to forward those quotes. Yet:

Let's get some commodity hardware, I don't particularly care how but if it can't be had business is impossible. Let us make lots of money together.

Was apparently the proper way structure a request that opens up the vast catalog of shit that can be ordered off the vast catalogs of the internet. That:

but if it can't be had business is impossible.

Was necessary will likely keep me somewhat pissed off until I fall asleep and wake up into a new day. What I have to keep with me after the acute disruption fades is that this construction appears to be working. As of this minute I am waiting for the quote, it should be arriving soon. Unless there's some other magic words I need to learn to take more cult out of the cargo cult.