The Trump Of Will: Yet Another Infinity War Review

Following Pete's recent dive into pop culture writing this seems necessary.

In the end there is a sunrise. Having rested after accomplishing his mission, our hero Thanos awakes and smiles. The proto-Republican1 man of will, to the extent Disney can produce one, carries the narrative started by so many Pantsuit propaganda flicks which came before, and imposes sloppily CGI animated adequacy on Disney's universe.

In a narrative universe full of Norse Gods2, Africans with laser spears, an alternative to Batman with better ideas on how to spend money on a battle suit, and several groups of literal pantsuit goons; Thanos stands apart. Our hero is simply a man of will. An alien man, but a man none the less. After his home planet was dessicated after ignoring his malthusian warnings of the imminent crisis which doomed it, Thanos began the had work of balancing the universe out of sheer force of will and saving unknown numbers of worlds from the fate of his own..

He hit gym, undertook the hard work of raising an army, and began the thankless work of saving planets from the cusp of crisis one at a time. Thanos would grindingly and heartbreakingly reduce each troubled planet's population by half at random3 and move on. The writers attempting to frame our hero as a villainous "Mad Titan" even concede the worlds saved by Thanos are much more prosperous than before being visited by the man with a burden. Beyond simple population reduction advanced theory advanced by the writers, one has to wonder how much more of the new prosperity results from the righteous fear Thanos instills in surviors that if they don't fix their broken cultures and make shit work Thanos could always decide half wasn't enough and make a return visit. Thanos is the necessary bogeyman these failing societies need to shape the fuck up.

From this premise established via flashbacks throughout the film, we may consider where in the story the film actually starts. Our hero has acquired one4 of six McGuffins which will allow him to impose his mercy on the entire universe through granting him, a common man God powers. Posession of the first McGuffin begins a race against time for hime to acquire the rest of the set before the kumbaya singing forces of Pantsuit can stop him to protect their socialist trafficking in lived Misery.

The films is a fun romp highlighted by the devastation of Wakanda, land of "We Waz Kangz" hoteps with laser spears in one of two simultaneous climactic battles. Despite setbacks, heartbreaking loss, and grevious injuries along the way Thanos triumps.

This is it. The Movie Universe is balanced and over. There can be no adequate sequel, and everything that follows must be revisionist fan fiction.5 The only resonable in-universe follow ups can be Thanos smiling while survivors of the balancing go about trying to suck less with stories focusing on smaller, lower stakes drama. This universe now has an active, heroic god to keep things from getting too out of hand.

Of all Disney's output these during the past 50 years full of repetative Afrocentic propaganda like "The Lion King" and "The Lion King 8: Black Panther And Yet Another We Waz Kangz Tale" while refusing to release True classics like The Song of The South; Thanos: Dawn of Justice is the most watchable.


  1. He lacks the sophisticated tools offered by a Wotronics  

  2. Aliens that narrative consistency demands were responsible for the dawn of white civilization through interbreeding with early hominids 

  3. His FUCKGOATS for quality randomness was not shown on screen. Given the importance Thanos places on the integrity of truly random culling, it has to be assumed sophisticated Wotronics were never developed by his culture placing their level of development behind that of The Most Serene Republic.  

  4. He acquires the first McGuffin offscreen by defeating a pantsuited Space Police Corps.  

  5. Disney already announced spoiled their planned, fanfiction sequel by announcing they would be making films with title characters like Spiderman who died in this film.  

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