Google Trying To Bill Service Cancelled 5 Years Ago

Apparently when you are Google, you decide that 5 years after a customer explicitly cancelled a service1 to try billing for the same service as though the subscription was never cancelled by the customer. Surely this is just an error and not a sneaky attempt at generating some revenue while juicing the subscriber numbers for the investors.

First the juicy chunks of the header where it passes dkim for an origin.

ARC-Seal: i=1; a=rsa-sha256; t=1506423238; cv=none;; s=arc-20160816;
ARC-Message-Signature: i=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed;; s=arc-20160816;
ARC-Authentication-Results: i=1;;
dkim=pass header.s=20161025 header.b=gTpMJ/ux;
spf=pass ( domain of designates as permitted sender);
dmarc=pass (p=REJECT sp=REJECT dis=NONE)
Received-SPF: Pass ( domain of designates as permitted sender ) client-ip:
Received-SPF: pass ( domain of designates as permitted sender) client-ip=;
dkim=pass header.s=20161025 header.b=gTpMJ/ux;
spf=pass ( domain of designates as permitted sender);
dmarc=pass (p=REJECT sp=REJECT dis=NONE)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed;; s=20161025;
X-Google-Smtp-Source: AOwi7QAiOMgqBKRWWfh+3beO+6qpc2b8F7cW7+QXULy6q2cJ+FhDxycqg7esjxnYio1SxU/O2pBip7soR/e9hVCq44DMub8=

Tue, 26 Sep 2017 03:53:58 -0700 (PDT)
Date: Tue, 26 Sep 2017 03:53:58 -0700 (PDT)
X-Notifications: XEAAAAFtRWQjzcIOZIwDLwmJHbzc
Message-ID: <>

And now Google's message of  "Fuck you, we're Google, pay us":


Payment failure: G Suite Basic for [domain name]


The last payment for your G Suite Basic subscription for [domain name]
failed. This indicates that there's something wrong with your payment

To prevent the suspension of all services for all users on October 3, 2012:

Contact your bank or credit card company to resolve the issue with your
payment method.
Go to your Admin console to retry or update your payment method and pay
your outstanding balance. If you couldn't resolve the issue, you'll need to
add a new payment method instead.

See complete instructions for fixing a payment failure.

Go to Admin console

The G Suite Team

© 2017 Google Inc. 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, CA 94043

You have received this mandatory email service announcement to update you
about important changes to your G Suite product or account.

Now, if Google's billing apparatus is sending emails in September 2017 that are talking about October 3, Twenty-fucking-Twelve in the future tense because it failed to charge long expired who-fucking-remembers fiat cards… what is it getting away with charging? There could be some substantial lulz along this line, but probably nothing challenging the brewing discrimination lulz in terms of tort hazard to Google.

  1. One year before Snowden and two before there was a republic  

(American) Football Is Over

The mass of massive humanity that is the NFL1 was given a choice over this weekend. Stand with the divisive washed up has been Colin Kepernick and the least popular man in the United States, League Commisioner Roger Goodell, or reject them and stand in unity with the crowd yearing for 'Murica and Making a Great Again. As comedy before it went to the cancerous fags, so too follows the NFL capitulating to the same social engineers bullying it over the sport's concussions and masculinity.

RIP Handegg

October 19, 1873 – September 24, 2017

  1. National Football [sic, local spelling of Handegg] League  

Introducing the TMSR agriCultural Supremacy Project

I, the good lord BingoBoingo in celebration of 18 months of continuous sobriety am opening a challenge to my fellow Lords and other Republicans interested in advancing the continued domination of The Most Serene Republic in all cultural endeavors by turning towards the agriCultural.

The challenge is simple. Grow some veggies, enter them in the local county fair, and win. Document the journey and the glory.

Is So Unfair Cycle 12 – Fairness Strikes!

After 40 days walking deeper into the desert Elliot was sure he had evaded criminal culpability for the revenge against James, and so it was that half a mile from the Arizona border Elliot was stopped by a cloaked figure. Suddenly Elliot was transported to the Old Rectory. Before Elliot stood Lord Voldemort, the faithful servant of Queen Elizabeth and her consort Philip who had long been charged with ridding Britain of Ingsoc.

"Elliot, you are a supreme specimen of British excellence descended from the aristocracy and whom has survived in the face of great horrors. I request you help in saving Mother Britain from the scourge of her own people."

"Are you a boy or a girl?"

Voldemort brought the wand in his hand to Elliot's forehead and after a too quick search of the thoughts in Elliot's head placed his other hand on the wand in his pants. "For you Elliot, I am a girl."

There was a great shaking tremor which struck the entirety of Britain as Voldemort died. Voldemort observed many things of Elliot before approaching him, but didn't realize Elliot only dealt in the portion of language as Nouns. All context was missing and because Voldemort was magical there was a resonance with Elliot's will.

Voldemort was dead, Harry, Hermoine, Hagrid, George Soros, and all of magical Britain was dead. Unwittingly Voldemort finally succeded in creating the necessary space for Ingsoc to die. Without elitist fucking hippies and their magical ways socialism naturally dies. Sure, Britain still had some filthy hippies, but the survivors lacked the necessary magic powers to even keep pretending Ingsoc worked. HashtagBrexitBitches!

Elliot had no idea. He had no idea of Voldemort's noble yet accidental sacrifice. He had no idea magical Britain which he had just extinguished was a thing. Elliot was self will run riot.

Seeing little else to do Elliot checked his bag to make sure the money he hadn't spent was still there and resumed his walk to Arizona. Despondent that after almost reaching Arizona to buy his PowerMegaBall lottery ticket another pervert transported him to fucking England and likely wanted to sodomize him again, Elliot stopped at the corner store and bought a handle of cheap Vodka. There were a lot of corner stores between Britain and Arizona.

Twenty-Five years later Elliot happened to pass out on a Samsung container vessel headed to the port of San Diego. Elliot suffered nearly a month of continuous sobriety for Elliot had too much will to surrender. Surrounded by filthy refugees who had already been enrolled in Obamacare, no one cared to check his papers on arrival. They just handed him a voter registration card since as one Border Patrol counsellor decided, "This fellow looks Asian enough."

Finally back in California Elliot once again frequented a corner store to relieve himself of sobriety and continued walking. Being adventurous he got a handle of Thunderbird wine instead of cheap vodka. The price was right and soon he would have his PowerMegaball lottery ticket.

Being older, bloated from hobo wine, and with less sense of direction than ever Elliot's will finally delivered him to an Arizona convenience store. The wheels and transmission attached to the will were failing, but they had just enough in them.

"Hey Chief what can I do you for today."

"I am a distinguished descendant of the British Aristocracy, and I'd like a handle of Thunderbird and three hundred dollars1 on the PowerMegaBall Lotto."

"Sure thing Chief."

Elliot had arrived on the reservation. It was a happy life for Elliot. Though not being Indian himself he blended right in. Every day he'd suck just enough dicks to get his wine and his lotto, until one day the tribe made him Chief. He'd constantly reassert with his drunken slurs that he was actually British, but the tribe and the tourists frequenting the reservation's many Casinos found it endearing.

In his 17th year as Chief, Elliot's Barret's esophagus developed a bleed. Elliot died. Fin

  1. By this time, inflation being what it is, a hundred dollars was the minimum price of a single entry. The wine was three times as much as a lotto pick as it has always been. Two decades walking through Asia on foot gave Elliot a lot of practice sucking dick to support his vice.  

Is So Unfair Cycle 11

Lord Voldemort's spirit lingered in the room as police detectives attempted to make sense of the Hell that James' apartment had become.1 It was clear to the police that the Invalid Elliot was a high risk missing person who had been kidnapped. But fuck this shit what the kidnappers did to James. Chicom organ harvesters were a myth and they never did this. Which of James perverted Craigslist boyfriends did this seemed to be dominating the detective discussion. Voldemort knew something else was afoot.

A creature of pure will descended of the English Aristocracy had ascended. Perhaps this Elliot was the final piece he needed to finally defeat Ingsoc and save Britain from its own people! Every one of Voldemort's previous plans to save Britain failed when the British people demonstrated themselves unworthy of saving.

Elliot had been walking for a week maintaining strict silence around other people, and other times mumbling to himself in an attempt at self delivered speech therapy. Previous tastes be damned Elliot's current clothes were purchased at Dollar General. Every morning when Elliot passed a convenience store he'd pick up a newspaper and follow the police's unrelenting lack of progress in his missing person's case, and then at night he would use the paper as a blanket as he let sleep take him on the street.

Irony of Ironies, girls would smile at Elliot who had now become a muscled and somewhat dashing if silent creature of the street. Where Elliot once declared himself involuntarily celibate, the experience of having all of that sex forced upon his broken body led him to choose voluntary celibacy. At least until he made it to Arizona.

  1. Elliot would have surely called the Hell, the Hell.  

Is So Unfair Cycle 10

After putting on some of the gloves James kept to adminster Elliot's medical care, Elliot tied James up with some bondage rope the party left and taped over James' mouth. Elliot had no idea if or when James would come to. Elliot, still unsteady after his, now largely self imposed, bed confinement took some time as he gathered materials.

A knife, some sewing thread, superglue, a flat screwdriver, Elliot had located much of the basics when James seemed to be rousing.

"Aihe Koht Ahhhns OKh Ooo" Elliot then broke into a coughing spasm. Elliot's Charles Atlas inspired physical therapy apparently did nothing for his vocal cords. Elliot noted this deficiency and set that he would practice speaking later in private so he could ones again call all of the things the things that they were.

Elliot then sat in James' computer chair and began Googling to check the Powerball and Mega Millions jackpots because it had after all been so long. Satisfied that the Jackpots were sufficiently high Elliot began his work to transform James.

Elliot started with the throat. With the acumen of a third grader playing with frogs in the yard Elliot used his fingers to locate where in James the vibrations which Elliot wanted to call the vibrations of his muffled screams were originating. Elliot started with a small slit, but ended up making a semi rounded opening when the trachea proved too tough to hold open with his fingers. Elliot superglued the edges of the opening to stop the bleeding. Satisfied he had room to work Elliot glued a bit of sandpaper to the end of a pencil and destroyed James' vocal cords. When the bleeding became too much he stopped the bleeding with some tweezers, toilet paper, and more glue. Elliot stole the voice that James stole from him.

Now for the important part. For James' lie Elliot would make James a girl as Elliot understood girl.

Elliot began by rubber banding James' testicles and penis. Elliot kept applying rubber bands until a deep shade of purple was achieved. Satisfied Elliot began suturing underneath the clotting mess. Then began the big cut.

Elliot started at anus and moved forward to the base of the rubber bands. It was a shallow cut. The last thing Elliot wanted was for James to die. Elliot willed James to live. Elliot continued making shallow incisions one on top the other and feeling for major blood vessels that would present a hazard in sliced. After each new venture deeper Elliot sealed his progress with toilet paper and superglue.

Eventually Elliot hit the urinary bladder. Elliot began feeling accomplished. He had given James the cloaca he was so sure he had seen on the girl. Elliot then took off James' former genitals with a quick slice and proceeded to carry out the last bit of detail work to stop the bleeding.

James remained awake the whole time. Elliot addressed his tormentor.

"huerrkl, ahyeui krrrreh huerk,k,k,k" And another coughing fit.

Elliot tired from the hours it took to engirl James surrendered to Google for the next part and gave James a screwdriver lobotomy. James left eye did not survive the procedure at Elliot's unsteady hands, and so when Elliot packed the wound with still more toilet paper and glue he drew on the dressing to make it look vaguely eye-ish. Elliot was more careful on the right side.

Elliot then very gingerly positioned James so that he could get to his back. Elliot once again took the screwdriver and place the tip at the base of James' neck. Three whacks with the hammer and Elliot was satisfied.

Before leaving the place of his imprisonment Elliot put on some clothes and filled a backpack with more clothes and 95,000 United States dollars of James' ill gotten cash.

Elliot began the long walk to Arizona. He left the door unlocked behind him.

Is So Unfair Cycle 9

There were still three months before his 23rd birthday when the next happening happened. Elliot had been continuing his Charles Atlas physical therapy program as James continued to increase the frequency of his torture.

It was another evening and another crop of men invited by James to have their way with each other and with Elliot. Something was off with one of these men however. When her pants came off Elliot notice some things were missing… Then it dawned on Elliot that this is what a girl looked like. Elliot kept his gaze passive and got only fleeting glimpses of this thing he wanted for so long. Elliot feared that if he let his eyes move James and the others might suspect he was active on the inside. And so Elliot lacking details for the impression of a single slit spanning the female undercarriage.

When James realized that a girl pretending to be a man befouled his Palace of Penis he shut the party down and chased everyone out. James pulled a chair up to Elliot's bed and began apologizing for befouling their marital home with a foul woman. Elliot listened, maintaining appearances the whole time. Then James turned the chair around. Elliot knew what would happen next. James was going to suck his dick in order to comfort Elliot. James never could look at Elliot's face while he did this.

Crack! Elliot delivered a punch straight to the back on James' head and James was out cold.

Is So Unfair Cycle 8

As Elliot began putting on muscle tone, James began to become very hopeful for Elliot's recovery. James greatly increased the frequency with which he electrically milked Elliot's prostate because while Elliot showed no sign yet of still being inside his body, his body was strengthening. James could see no other possible cause for the healing happening in front of him. For James there was hope on every rope of semen he managed to extract from Elliot. James desperately wanted to recapture that fleeting happiness he shared with his Elliot before the tragedy that James was certain Elliot would have called the tragedy.

Is So Unfair Cycle 7

Not one of the horny fuckers even noticed that Elliot closed his own eyes. It was only for a fraction of a second and they were to busy penetrating invalid little Elliot, but for Elliot this was hope. Hope that he could carry out a new plan.

In an earlier more innocent time Elliot imagined he could have revenge against girls for cruelly rejecting him. Now Elliot had to have revenge against James for his prolonged cruelty against Elliot. James began going out more and when he came home he brought more men to fuck Elliot. The novelty of having his own half Asian Angel Baby wore thin and the guardianship agreement was only letting James spend so much of Elliot's money.  Baby had to earn his keep.

Elliot heard many men's names but only that of James, his ultimate tormentor was burned into his mind.

When James left Elliot would begin his preparation sessions. Still an invalid Elliot would Will until he could tense a new muscle. James could never know Elliot decided. No matter how much James reeked of Gin and Astroglide when he returned home Elliot could not let James know he was slowly becoming less invalid.

The seasons come, and seasons go. Time passes by, as the weeks become the months become the years.

By Elliot's twenty-second birthday he could wiggle his fingertips and his toes. Elliot could tense his entire upper body. Three months later Elliot was finally able to tense his calves, those were the last muscles. Elliot continued to remain absolutely still. His will held even as James' taste in men fell ever downward.

Elliot knew what he was doing was isometric exercises from a Charles Atlas booklet he ordered from an advertisement in the back of a gaming magazine. He'd ordered it in yet another effort to become attractive to girls, but as with karate he lacked the discipline to follow through. His captivity at the hands of James however became a sort of clutch, and the engine of Elliot's will now had a transmission.

Elliot thought he had nothing, and then he actually had nothing. Now Elliot had purpose. Revenge against James who so cruelly used and abused Elliot.

Elliot however remained non-verbal even in private, lest voice alarm James. Otherwise Elliot would now call his one purpose his one purpose. He resolved he would act on his one purpose the eve of his twenty-third birthday allowing himself to continue building strength and promising himself he would be free of James on his actual birthday.